Signs of a Conflicted Small Business Owner Show Even in a Good Economy

By Rhonda Campbell

If you’ve been trying to get a company off the ground for several years as a small business owner without success, there might be a simple, yet not so simple, reason for your frustration. You might be conflicted about what it is you really want to do.

Signs of Conflict in a Small Business Owner

Does this sound familiar? The desire to generate at least $1 million a year in customer sales fills you with excitement. Yet, each day rather than to finalize business product launches, close out marketing objectives by sending direct mail, press releases and targeted content to consumers, etc., you spend hours gazing out your office window dreaming of how sweet life is going to be once your company starts generating $1 million or more a year in profits. Or maybe you decline offers to take on higher paying client work in favor or working 12 or more hours a day doing lower paying, easy jobs that don’t challenge you at all.

These are signs of a conflicted small business owner. The signs can show up whether you are self employed with an offsite office or if you operate home biz. In other words, one part of you wants one thing while another part of you wants something completely different. And worse, you might not even be aware of exactly what it is you want because you may have been conditioned to distrust your desires or to believe that what you want is bad or wrong. And so, the conflict ensues – leaving you with the desire to live as if you’re already retired while, at the same time, you constantly think about building a million dollar firm. You have to make a choice, decide what you want most.

Helping Yourself Get What You Really Want as a Small Business Owner

To do this you can engage in inner dialogue, asking yourself probing questions when you start feeling conflicted (e.g. gazing out the window when you want to generate product sales). For example, you can ask yourself why you want to gaze out the window and why you want to increase sales. Pay attention to your feelings. If you truly want to increase product sales, see if you can come up with an acceptable alternative to gazing out the window (e.g. enjoying an hour-long walk outdoors at mid-day). You also might decide to let yourself enjoy one to two weekdays off once a month.

To help yourself move through conflicts, you can also create a list of action steps you will take to meet goals you most want to achieve. After all, some things may be a passing fancy, not what you really want to focus on. After you create a list of action steps, follow through on them. It might help to set a time of day when you will complete certain steps. For example, you might create a calendar or spreadsheet that lists the names of media representatives you will contact every Monday at 10 a.m. to schedule two or more radio and/or newspaper interviews.

You can also:

• Write in a journal once a day
• Focus on a goal and meditate, allowing your mind to quiet and surface your deep inner desires regarding the goal
• Drink plenty of water every day
• Get outdoors for an hour each day
• Enjoy plenty of sleep each night
• Talk with a friend about what it is you want to do. Hearing yourself talk outloud to someone else is an excellent way to finally hear what you’re really saying
• Develop relationships with other creative business leaders in your industry/market. They may know tips you can use to move through the contradictions
• Read books written by and about creative business leaders who’ve moved through inner contradictions successfully

Getting the Help You Deserve as a Determined Small Business Owner

Other action steps you can include on your calendar are days and hours when you will posts comments to social media networks, when you will write and send press releases, when you will complete patent paperwork for new computer designs, etc. Should you continue to “push back” and find it challenging to complete the action steps, stop and ask yourself what you really want to do. If what you really want to do can be done in one to two hours over the weekend, make time to do this.

Should you continue to feel conflicted, consider working with a licensed and experienced psychologist or psychotherapist. This person can help you to identify inner conflicts and discover ways to ensure you’re satisfied in all areas of your life, creating a holistically healthier you.

After all, parents and married people aren’t the only people who feel conflicted from time to time. It’s also possible to deal with conflicting thoughts and beliefs as a small business owner. The sooner you recognize and acknowledge that you may be having conflicting thoughts, beliefs and behaviors, the sooner you can start making decisions and take clear action to overcome these challenges. This, in turn, will free up your energy so you can start receiving and acting on insights, ideas, hunches and suggestions that are guaranteed to move your business forward.

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